


Too Much // Destiel

by WayAndWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, Short, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:19:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WayAndWinchester/pseuds/WayAndWinchester





	Too Much // Destiel

Castiel sat on the chair at the small table of the motel room, hands placed on his lap politely as Sam and Dean got their jackets for a 'night out'. Though Dean, again, reminded Castiel that he could go with them. "It's not like we're embarrassed by you," Dean explained. Still, Castiel shook his head, giving a quiet 'no'. The Winchester's thought nothing of it. Castiel is an angel and, to their presumption, doesn't like the idea of going to a place where humans sin.

They have no idea the thoughts swarming inside Castiel's brain, building up like waves crashing in the cliff faces as a hurricane builds up. In the lonely silence of the motel room, it only seems to get worse- which is not what Castiel was aiming for. Whenever Castiel felt any strong type of emotion he would go to heaven and let his mind wonder. He can't go to heaven, not now that he's betrayed them and is fighting the apocalypse. He's stranded on earth, knowing he'd be captured in heaven.

The emotions build, getting worse the more Castiel tries to ignore or block them. It takes a while for Castiel to realise his eyes are watering but, like the emotions, the more he tries to subdue them, the more they build. Castiel feels disgusted with himself when the tears start cascading, only feeling more disgusted when the tears don't stop. Angels don't feel emotions. They don't feel pain, or loss, or love, or hate, or- or have a gaping whole lodged in their heart like Castiel has.

Too much. His chest aches from the short gasps of breath, face wet and shaking. His wings start to ache, feeling confined and making the emotions feel more restrictive. With a large flapping sound, Castiel manifests his wings, lifting his knees to his chest and curling his wings around him like a protective bubble. Castiel has never felt like this before. He never wants to feel like this again.

"Cas!"

Castiel gasps too sharply, making him feel light headed. Hands pry his wings out the way, trying to be gentle but unable to be too delicate under the panic and worry. Dean's eyes widen when he sees Castiel, eyes red and tears still spilling down his cheeks. The look of terror Castiel gives him too, as though he's been caught doing something evil, makes Dean feel as though his heart has torn in half.

"Cas," Dean says softly. Castiel is still shaking as he stares at Dean, whimpering when he realises that even Dean doesn't know what to do. "Hey, hey, shhh," Dean pulls Cas up off the chair and hugs him tightly when he starts crying harder. "It's ok, Cas, I'm here." Dean rubs the top of Castiel's back, the other massaging the back of his neck and he's rocking Castiel a little, like he did when Sam was young. "I've got you."

Eventually Dean pulls back, leading Castiel over to the bed. When Castiel finally agrees to lay on the bed, Dean lays down beside him and pulls the covers over them both. He then guides Castiel so he's curled up at Dean's side, legs hooked around his own and cheek resting against Dean's chest. Castiel closes his eyes, softly pressing more into Dean and the comfort offered. It takes a while, but eventually the burning emotions and pain start to fade.

"Thank you." Castiel eventually says, over an hour later of just laying with Dean. His voice is scratchy, throat dry and his body feels heavy- numb. Dean simply tightens his arms around Castiel a little, turning his face so that he can lightly press his lips onto Castiel's forehead.

"Cas," Dean murmurs, waiting for Castiel to tilt his head up to him. "You tell me if you ever feel like that again. Don't bottle it up, it won't end well and you'd only get hurt."

Castiel, relying on instinct, tilts his head farther so his nose rubs against Dean's jaw. Dean moves his head to look down at Castiel, looking a little uncertain. Slowly, making sure Castiel knows he could move away, Dean leans in to press their lips together in a short kiss. Dean half expects Castiel to get confused and move away. He doesn't expect Castiel to lean up and kiss him back.

They stare at eachother for a moment, before Dean lightly grabs Castiel's neck and starts to kiss him again. At first, Castiel struggles to move his lips in sync with Dean. As they're 'making out', Dean turns his body so that they're fully pressed together. There's nothing sexual about the kiss, but it does send emotions burning in Castiel's chest- only not painful like earlier.

When they eventually move apart, a small dribble of spit hanging between them for a moment, Castiel can't help but smile. Dean chuckles lightly, pulling Castiel closer to hug him. Dean closes his eyes when Castiel presses his face into his neck, feeling oddly content with Castiel tightly pressed up to him.

"Cas," Dean says quietly, continuing when Castiel hums in acknowledgement. "I need you." Dean wants to say something else, like 'I love you', but he can't seem to bring himself to do so. Castiel doesn't mind, however. In fact, it's more comforting for him. He has no concept of love- not properly, at least- but need, he does understand.

"I love you too, Dean."


End file.
